And That's A Wrap!
Reflections and Recommendations on 2025
Hello friends and enemies,
It’s my birthday (December 14th). Last year this time, I weepily constructed a newsletter reflecting on the year behind me and mourning Gavin Creel. (I am now humiliated over this egregious display of sincerity and vulnerability and it’s since been deleted).
This year, I thought to make a little tradition of it. The cool thing about having a December birthday is that the blues of turning a year older often compounds atop New Year’s reflections. It’s always been a weird day for me. Which, of course, I’m circumventing by talking about yaoi.
BUT… before we get into all that… I will talk a little about how the year has been for me. Last year, I languished on submission, and now I have a book deal! Of course, that comes with its own struggles, but it remains absolutely surreal that my debut novel will be out in six months and in the hands of people. I certainly have a lot of work cut out for me between now and then, and the tongues of excitement and apprehension are battling for dominance in my mind.
I’ve passed quite a few author milestones! I’ve turned in copy edits for my book, my final cover is sitting in my inbox, I’m working on book two. I did my first author blurb for The Gods Must Burn by T.R. Moore, which comes out in Feburary of 2026. I recommend it if you’re a fan of books like Godkiller or films like Princess Mononoke.
Truthfully, while a lot happened, this year felt empty. I keep forgetting that we’ve reached December, thinking that I’m still coasting through September and I still have Halloween and Thanksgiving coming up. I used to do weekly planner spreads to time block my writing, log every meal on Beli, log every movie on Letterboxd, and plan out my reading for the month in advance using a gantt chart. Now, brain brokey. I have a lot of unread messages.
It turns out that losing my motivation to keep up with my Rituals resulted in a decreased connection to reality and an increase in doom scrolling. If I didn’t have a professional deadline, the task simply did not exist. This is probably burnout. I will return to my planner in the new year. These things reset at midnight, right?
Though I suffered a horrific slump this year and existed on autopilot, here comes my wrap up.
End of Year Wrap Up
Books
Blood Over Bright Haven by ML Wang
ML Wang writes with such a deft pen and hits her marks like a sharpshooter. This book is engaging, streamlined, knows exactly what it wants to be, and still manages to pull your heartstrings while doing so. I appreciate that as a political fantasy, its narrative is self-contained and built from the ground up rather than relying on elements mirrored with the real world. Thrilling read.
The Scholomance Series by Naomi Novik
This was a huge surprise win for me. Based off the premise, I didn’t expect to like these books. My friends didn’t expect me to like these books. I have an abysmal hit-and-miss batting average with dark academia, particularly the voicey variety. But, you know, sometimes things pay off when you give them a try.
What I really appreciated about the Scholomance series was how layered the themes are. Not only does Novik play with archetypes, turning them on their heads, she also uses this deconstruction to challenge existing power structures and societal assumptions. It’s good. It’s satisfying. I had a good time. What more could you want?
The Republic of Salt by Ariel Kaplan
This is the sequel to The Pomegranate Gate and I am so unbelievably sat for the next book. This is probably my favorite fantasy series that’s currently being published, it’s a slower charcter-driven portal fantasy that’s more political than action laden. I love this cast of characters, I love how their stories weave and intersect with one another, and I love the yaoi. End scene.
Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb
I finally finished the Realm of the Elderlings this year and it has been cemented as my favorite fantasy series of all time. “Finally finished” because I finished Assassin’s Quest at the end of 2022 and was so traumatized by the end that I was afraid to read the rest of the series for nearly three years. Then, I plowed through the other thirteen books in about four months. Truly exceptional. I bawled at the end of it. I now own three copies of the Farseer Trilogy. Fitzchivalry Farseer you are EVERYTHING to me.
I will say, despite my deep and enduring love for these novels, there is something about them that bothered me deeply. By the time you reach The Rainwild Chronicles, there’s some textbook orientalism. Orientalism is common in all of fantasy, as authors often find themselves pulling from Eastern cultures to signify the otherworldly, but this is not that. This is Edward Said’s Orientalism, in which a desert nation with vague Islamic cultural elements, such as harems and chadors, is depicted as so overwhelmingly cruel as to justify foreign intervention and violence. I understood thematically what Hobb attempted to accomplish, but it fell flat for me when viewed in a larger political context.
Like I said, I do still love these books dearly. And as a debuting author, I am hesitant to be critical of other works in my genre, especially something I respect as much as Realm of the Elderlings. That being said, it’s difficult to be a nonwhite reader and get excited to read a series everyone is raving about, only to be met with casual orientalism that not a single other soul seemed to recognize. It’s incredibly lonely and isolating. I want to talk about how much I love these books, and encourage others to read them, and now with this disclaimer, others like me won’t feel so disoriented.
Hundred Year’s War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi
A book that I had to keep taking breaks reading because the events it described filled me with such anger and frustration and sadness. I encourage everyone to pick it up because the current day-to-day news regarding Palestine is not enough. In order to understand the plight of the Palestinians and how best to help them overcome their oppression, it is essential to become educated in the full political context. Often, on social media, we’re only fed glimpses and snippets of a larger story, but entire understanding is so incredibly important.
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Whoever said that East of Eden’s small resurgence in popularity is a recession indicator, you’re right. I think we should get a little more worried if everyone starts picking up Grapes of Wrath, but East of Eden is troublesome enough. It is, also, by far one of the best books I’ve ever read. Steinbeck really had that sauce, I’m sorry.
After reading this book, I decided to convince my friend to take a weekend trip to Salinas and have a hot Steinbeck summer. The original plan was to visit his grave and explain the plot of the Cain and Abel season of Supernatural to him, but through poor planning and awkward cemetery hours, we only accomplished half that goal. Otherwise, it still was a very Stein-rific trip.
Journeying to the Steinbeck museum, I learned that he was way more decorated than I knew, and also, he didn’t think he was very talented. Which. Insane. After he won the Nobel prize for literature, everyone got angry about the upset, and he basically agreed with them, then never wrote another fiction book again.
“I have always recognized that I did not have a great talent, but rather relied on the whip to make me over-leap my limitations.” - John Steinbeck
This quote speaks to me particularly. I interpret it as him being a perfectionist who’s very unhappy with his raw drafts and then hates himself until they’re passable. As someone who is currently writing a dogshit first draft, I understand him. The better a writer you get, the better you are at spotting good writing, and the worse yours seems to become. Yet, that’s just proof that you have the vision and the taste to eventually get it where you need it to go. The over-leaping of his limitations gives me hope. May we all one day aspire to win a controversial Nobel prize.
Going Postal by Terry Pratchett
Discworld has been suggested to me many-a-times, but to whoever recommended me Going Postal specifically, thank you!!! Moist von Lipwig truly changed everything.
I was quite charmed by Pratchett and have since attempted to start Discworld from the beginning. It is more slow-going than I’d like, but always entertaining, and I know that more books like Going Postal await on the horizon. Terry Pratchett really was such a fantastic writer, with such tangible prose, immediately apparent characterization, and killer wit.
A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut
I talk more about this book in i’m not a pessimist, and you shouldn’t be one either, but I respect that Kurt Vonnegut wrote a book just because he hated George W. Bush so much. It’s funny and insightful too. Great read.
Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks
Read the title and then read it again! Feminism is for everyone. hooks is incredibly precise and effective with her language, spelling out so many complicated societal issues so clearly. It’s unsurprising how many topics, such as tradwife idealism, are still relevant today, but this book addresses the economic foundations of that problem. In fact, it also understands how feminism intersects with global imperialism and the exploitation of the global south, which is a topic I often see overlooked online. Books like this strengthen my belief that we need to be reading literature, not only online articles and tweets, to truly be aware of our world and understand the tools we have when attempting to change it.
Television
Severance
This is the first time I’ve fully drunk the kool-aid of a mystery box television show. I love it. The second season was not without its flaws, reflecting reports of a muddled writers’ room and its significant delay, but still an altogether compelling piece of television. As we tick closer to Lumon’s secrets being spilled, I worry it will not be as satisfying as I hope, yet that does not dissuade me from watching, as every episode is a wonderful piece of television on its own. Excited for season 3 and its revamped creative team. Ben Stiller, you are mentioned later in this substack again but you have charmed me.
The Nanny
I watched it. I liked it. Unfortunately, Fran Drescher is a Zionist entity, so that’s all I have to say about that.
Malcom in the Middle
Listen, I love family sitcoms. They are my bread and butter. This has been a huge blind spot for me for so long, and I hate myself for not tuning in earlier. Excellent television. Sublime. So funny. Rediculous but clever.
Abstaining from reading for the latter half of the year, I let this show cook my brain from the inside out. My prose is suffering for it, but I’m picking up new and exciting skills. If Malcom in the Middle taught me anything, it’s the power of manipulation. Characters regularly psychologically play with others, challenging their pride, or toying with their emotions. I am watching a masterclass and taking notes. Where else can you learn to add such a richness of flavor to your writing?
I am also very excited for the legacy sequel coming out next spring.
Heated Rivalry
This show coming out week by week is the only thing keeping me going.
Heated Rivalry (the book) is very engaging, but sparse. The Crave adaptation provides such body and depth to the story, both through the pitch-perfect performances by Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams and the keen directon of Jacob Tierney. Nearly every interesting aspect of the book has been fleshed out and given life, very competently shot and precisely edited. After the end of episode four, I was overcome with a resounding fondness… historically, there has never been a better time to be a fujoshi.
Movies
Hamnet
Maggie O’Farrell’s book is very very good, but upon reading it, my prevailing thought was “Chloe Zhao’s adaptation of this is going to kill me.”
And it did.
Upon leaving the premier at Toronto International Film Festival, my chest ached tight from attempting to contain my sobs. An exceptional film. Jessie Buckley and Jacobi Jupe deserve every award in Hollywood and beyond for their performances. The final act was just magnificent, transforming an incredibly internal revelation of a scene into an emotionally devastating live-action set piece. It’s truly a marvel of an adaptation that somehow managed to exceed my dangerously high expectations.
Kiss of the Spider Woman
Now, walking into this film, all I knew was that it is a musical and Jennifer Lopez plays a diva.
Imagine my surprise when the films opens on an Argentinian political prison. Then, gay anguish. Gay hope. Revolution. By the last frame, I was crying.
Kiss of the Spider Woman was left to die by its distributor. You, dear reader, probably did not even know it came out this year. But it is a very, very good film. Jennifer Lopez, Diego Luna, and Tonatiuh, an actor you are probably not familiar with but should be, because he was particularly remarkable in this film.
The film, too, is an adaptation of a stage musical, and it leans that way extremely in its sensibilities. I lived for it. It’s so refreshing to see a director who knows how to effectively shoot a dance sequence or color grade an homage to the classic musical. I loved it.
K-Pop Demon Hunters
There’s nothing I can say about this movie that hasn’t been said. But let the record show, I was there. I did enjoy it. It makes complete and total sense that this is the largest an original film has been since Frozen. And they deserve it.
The Wiz
As a Wizard of Oz fan, I don’t know how I went so long without seeing this adaptation. The Wiz was rereleased in theaters this summer and I found myself enticed by its siren song. And in that movie theater, I was bewitched.
Make no mistake. It’s weird. It’s very strange. Off-putting, even. But, it’s great. I definitely think the full immersion did something for me, the beautiful sets on the big screen, Diana Ross’ lovely performance of Dorothy. I respect really crazy wild adaptational swings. And, above all, I respect the ancient art of including scenes in your movie that will scare the shit out of little kids.
Zoolander
I don’t know why I chose to watch Zoolander randomly. But, I am so grateful I did.
I love Zoolander. This movie is so stupid. It is so beautiful. Ben Stiller, you come to me as a child I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard. I understand you.
Is it a product of its time? Yes. But is it so much funnier than the other comedies in its class? Also yes. My life was changed. You don’t get it. I want to rewatch it, and I never want to rewatch films.
The Wedding Banquet
Gay Asian movie that made me cry alone in a movie theater while covertly eating Dott’s pretzels that I snuck in. Crazy plot twist. I know it’s an adaptation of an Ang Lee movie but still. Everyone watch Fire Island too, while you’re at it.
Memoir of a Snail
Make no mistake. This was a 2024 animated film. I am just perpetually behind on getting to things. That being said, lovely film. It’s almost too much in how much trauma the main character is forced to endure, but the entire narrative has a lulling gentleness and a sappy resolution.
Yes, it may be a little corny, but I was born on the cob. Sincerity is something so valuable.
Music
As always, my Spotify Wrapped is a mess. Linkin Park clinched the number one spot this year. They’re typically my crashout soundtrack, but I don’t know if I’ve grown to like them so much they’ve leaked into my everyday listening or if I’m just crashing out every day now. Anyways, this year their Living Things album wormed a special way into my heart. It’s much more subdued than their early stuff and a very lovely listening experience.
Charli XCX has been somewhere on my wrapped for three-fourish years now. I’ve moved on from brat and listen a lot to How I’m Feeling Now and Crash. Both are really great electropop albums.
In that same vein, apparently I’ve been listening to a lot of 100 gecs and Addison Rae. No recommendations there. I’ve best explained my music taste as songs that make you feel like you’re getting hit upside the head with a baseball bad.
And finally, regarding music I’ve enjoyed this year, there is the question of my WIP playlists. Songs have less to do with lyrics for me, and so I ascribe a genre to each project. While Letters from the Last Apothecary was folk rock in the vein of American Pie, book two leans a lot more disco soul/R&B. Candi Staton, Carl Carlton, Stevie Wonder, etc. In many ways, this is a return to form for me. Let’s hope the book also comes out just as upbeat.
Bonus: The Back to the Future Musical
I do not know where to put this but I saw the Back to the Future musical this year. Yes, like, on a stage.
For those who do not know, Back to the Future is my favorite film. I watched it when I was fourteen and went “wow that must be the best movie in the whole world” and have refused to change my mind since. I share this because I remember exactly where I was when I learned that Back to the Future was being adapted into a musical. And that was checking my email on a high school library computer in 2014 and reading the Back to the Future fanclub newsletter. I was so excited I started hyperventilating.
So, yes, I’ve been waiting to see this musical for over a decade. I’ve definitely mellowed since then, but this felt like a landmark event in my personal history. I had no reservations about the musical being good (as in whatever the theatrical equivalent to cinema would be) but it was good. It was a great time. The energy in the room was electric. Some people dressed up as Doc Martin or Marty. The performers were having a blast. An absolutely excellent experience. I almost felt like a kid again.
Because, while each day does go by faster than the last, and time is slipping away from me, I still refuse to part with my goofiness or silliness or stupid sense of humor. And maybe that’s a good thing. I’m a year older now, only marginally wiser, with a whole lot of work ahead of me, but if I can still find it in me to smile at my old friend Back to the Future, then I know I’ll be alright.
Obligatory Book Plug
For fans of DIVINE RIVALS and EMILY WILDE— LETTERS FROM THE LAST APOTHECARY is a romantic, light fantasy novel following a willful, aspiring mage as she works with the local, uptight apothecarist to save his shop amid a wave of growing anti-magic sentiment, unaware they have already fallen in love exchanging anonymous letters.